“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” ~Thoreau
And so begins what will hopefully remain an earnest and sustained foray into blogging. As with everything I do, we’ll have to just sit tight and see how that goes! Topics may conceivably range from literature, yoga, philosophy, the occasional recipe of the moment and other assorted life ponderings. Creating a record of my story as I go. We all have one, you know. This narrative with a past, present and future made up of labels, definitions and… and.. and. The trick is knowing the story is there and learning through living it, but not identifying with it to the point that it’s debilitating. To simply put this website together for myself has taken me a laughable amount of time. Mostly because I just haven’t known how to get started and often hesitate to start things unless I know I have all the answers. And rarely do I ever. Who does? Do you?
Last fall, I entered into a new phase of my desire to be living a more conscious and present existence. I wanted to practice in a greater number of moments what I am trying to help others with. So, I set out in search of the previously-elusive “white space” on my calendar, exploring this whole concept of unscheduled time. (woah.) And it’s still working out, for the most part.
Some days, I feel incredibly lazy to be consciously not doing. but most days, it feels like a luxury to be able to go home at night and just be. Not be volunteering my time more nights than not in a week, not going to every single workshop that looks vaguely interesting, not freaking about not having enough time when it’s completely within my control. Instead, I’ve been looking at what it is I’m trying to over-compensate for with that behavior. Work smarter, not harder.
I’m coming to see that I haven’t allowed my nervous system a break in years. My inner and outer lives have never matched. I have never really identified with the term “perfectionist”, but I recognize more daily that I fall into this category and get in my own way about close to everything — create my own resistance. I’m ready to create something else. And consume less, too. During this paring (re-pairing) experiment, I’ve also become acutely aware of how many activities I default to that are nothing but a time-suck. (ya.) And my life is passing. So is yours. You do this, too.
Shall we examine what it would mean to live in a more refined state of awareness together?
Reminder: you and I are beings in process, within a greater process — this living, breathing course that takes us from where we are today to a future point. Process, practice, is the essence. In a way, there’s nothing else.